it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize