Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
