woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
