If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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