I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
false alarm, still single
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