it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
