if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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