why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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