He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize