Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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