in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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