I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
