fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
