Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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