I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
