you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize