im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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