how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
