you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
