He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
