He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Please don't give away my fajitas
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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