Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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