I'm really into asian looking animals
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
