so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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