We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
