All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
