ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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