dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
