she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize