i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
