A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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