just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
