We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
