I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
