He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
