if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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