I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
