There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
