East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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