matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
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He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
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When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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