haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
