I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
