about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize