I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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