its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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