I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
