forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
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Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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