you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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