Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize