im holly from the hills drunk
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
