Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
