I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
