stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
