worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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