There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
