Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
