i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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