somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
