she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
