this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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