look no pants
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
