We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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