watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize