were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
