It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize