I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize